As published in The Erin Advocate
The flood of calls to a new mental health helpline has prompted an increase in funding from the Local Health Integration Network (LHIN), part of a $1.23 million investment in crisis response, referrals, addiction treatment and suicide prevention.
The Waterloo Wellington LHIN board has approved an additional $950,000 for the “Here 24/7” service, operated by the regional branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). It provides a live-answer phone line, as part of a new system providing a single point of access for anyone who needs information, referral, assessment and treatment.
“Calls to Here 24/7 have exceeded expectations by more than 75%,” said a LHIN announcement after the June 26 board meeting. “While more than 7,800 residents have been helped since April, there are still others who hung-up before receiving help. The additional funding will reduce the wait time for callers, reduce the number of callers who hang-up before being helped, and reduce wait times for residents needing a formal assessment for addiction and mental health needs.”
The helpline number is 1-844-437-3247. Residents can go to www.here247.ca or show up in person at 147 Delhi St. in Guelph or 234 St. Patrick St. E. in Fergus.
The LHIN board, which oversees the allocation of Ministry of Health funding for local needs, has also approved an additional $200,000 for the CMHA’s Youth and Young Adult Skills for Safer Living Program.
“This peer-led group program is a skills-based intervention that addresses the needs of individuals that engage in suicidal behavior,” said the announcement, noting that 47% of youth ages 12-24 have suicide-related concerns at some point, and that among youth, suicide remains the 2nd leading cause of death.
“Transitional age youth (ages 16-24) are a vulnerable population as their developmental needs may not be adequately met by existing programs that are designed for either children or adults.”
In addition, CMHA will receive $75,000 to produce 60,000 suicide prevention information packages for local distribution, and to host more group “postvention” sessions.
Postvention is the effort to improve the quality of life and avoid further suicides among those grieving a suicide loss.
Showing posts with label Suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Suicide. Show all posts
July 23, 2014
April 16, 2014
“Here 24/7” improves mental health service
As published in The Erin Advocate
New projects are underway in the region to reduce the number of people who fall through the cracks of the mental health system.
Patients with complex needs will get more opportunities for quality care, with an additional $5.9 million being dedicated over the past year to Addictions and Mental Health Treatment through the Waterloo-Wellington Local Health Integration Network (WWLHIN). That is more than half of all the new local health care funding.
One initiative launched last week is Coordinated Access, a first in Ontario, also known as “Here 24/7”. Acknowledging that the existing system can be difficult to navigate, the Canadian Mental Health Association for Waterloo, Wellington and Dufferin (CMHAWWD) has created a “no-wrong door” approach for people in need.
With one toll-free phone call at any time to 1-844-437-3247 (HERE247) or by visiting centres including 147 Delhi Street in Guelph, people will connect with crisis intervention or the intake and assessment process, including appointments with any of 12 regional agencies.
There will be a centralized risk screening and waiting list system, instead of several. Clients will have a Coordinator to help set priorities and they won’t have to repeat their story over and over. Agencies will cooperate more, using standardized assessments and holistic planning.
The Here 24/7 team includes about 20 full-time staff, and with new LHIN funding, another 13 people are being hired. Go to www.here247.ca for more details.
Another initiative announced in February was $400,000 for a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) program. It is designed to help those with Borderline Personality Disorder, a serious illness marked by instability in moods, behaviour and relationships.
“Evidence shows that DBT can help people most in need who couldn’t be helped before,” said WWLHIN CEO Bruce Lauckner. “The targeted investment will provide a critical lifeline for people who might otherwise slip through cracks in our health system.”
The DBT approach teaches skills that help participants learn to control their emotions and responses. It can help reduce addictions, self-harm, and suicidal behaviours. By teaching ways to increase patients’ own safety and stability, DBT is better accepted, resulting in a lower attrition rate than other forms of therapy, with fewer days of hospitalization.
“This is a huge addition to the therapeutic toolkit for individuals in our community,” said Fred Wagner, Executive Director of CMHA Waterloo, Wellington, Dufferin. “DBT will allow us to better help people we’ve been unsuccessful in supporting effectively in the past. It gives new hope to residents struggling to manage their condition, and to clinicians striving to support them.”
Other recent local initiatives include enhanced crisis response, helping police and clinicians deliver emergency mental health service more efficiently. There is a special outreach program from the CMHA for the homeless, and a program at the Stonehenge Therapeutic Community in Guelph to improve outcomes for residents with opioid addictions.
Another major development last year was the amalgamation of the Grand River Branch of the CMHA (serving areas to the west), with Trellis Mental Health and Development Services (serving easterly areas including Erin and Orangeville). So it is now called the Canadian Mental Health Association Waterloo Wellington Dufferin, the largest chapter in Canada, with 12 service locations and almost 350 employees.
The organization started construction in December of a three-storey, 22,700 sq/ft headquarters and treatment facility at 80 Waterloo Ave. in downtown Guelph.
The $10.2 million building, to be opened by June 2015, is on the former site of the Salvation Army Citadel, which has been demolished. Services will include individual and group treatment, education sessions, crisis support, adult and seniors services, eating disorder support and psychosis intervention.
New projects are underway in the region to reduce the number of people who fall through the cracks of the mental health system.
Patients with complex needs will get more opportunities for quality care, with an additional $5.9 million being dedicated over the past year to Addictions and Mental Health Treatment through the Waterloo-Wellington Local Health Integration Network (WWLHIN). That is more than half of all the new local health care funding.
One initiative launched last week is Coordinated Access, a first in Ontario, also known as “Here 24/7”. Acknowledging that the existing system can be difficult to navigate, the Canadian Mental Health Association for Waterloo, Wellington and Dufferin (CMHAWWD) has created a “no-wrong door” approach for people in need.
With one toll-free phone call at any time to 1-844-437-3247 (HERE247) or by visiting centres including 147 Delhi Street in Guelph, people will connect with crisis intervention or the intake and assessment process, including appointments with any of 12 regional agencies.
There will be a centralized risk screening and waiting list system, instead of several. Clients will have a Coordinator to help set priorities and they won’t have to repeat their story over and over. Agencies will cooperate more, using standardized assessments and holistic planning.
The Here 24/7 team includes about 20 full-time staff, and with new LHIN funding, another 13 people are being hired. Go to www.here247.ca for more details.
Another initiative announced in February was $400,000 for a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) program. It is designed to help those with Borderline Personality Disorder, a serious illness marked by instability in moods, behaviour and relationships.
“Evidence shows that DBT can help people most in need who couldn’t be helped before,” said WWLHIN CEO Bruce Lauckner. “The targeted investment will provide a critical lifeline for people who might otherwise slip through cracks in our health system.”
The DBT approach teaches skills that help participants learn to control their emotions and responses. It can help reduce addictions, self-harm, and suicidal behaviours. By teaching ways to increase patients’ own safety and stability, DBT is better accepted, resulting in a lower attrition rate than other forms of therapy, with fewer days of hospitalization.
“This is a huge addition to the therapeutic toolkit for individuals in our community,” said Fred Wagner, Executive Director of CMHA Waterloo, Wellington, Dufferin. “DBT will allow us to better help people we’ve been unsuccessful in supporting effectively in the past. It gives new hope to residents struggling to manage their condition, and to clinicians striving to support them.”
Other recent local initiatives include enhanced crisis response, helping police and clinicians deliver emergency mental health service more efficiently. There is a special outreach program from the CMHA for the homeless, and a program at the Stonehenge Therapeutic Community in Guelph to improve outcomes for residents with opioid addictions.
Another major development last year was the amalgamation of the Grand River Branch of the CMHA (serving areas to the west), with Trellis Mental Health and Development Services (serving easterly areas including Erin and Orangeville). So it is now called the Canadian Mental Health Association Waterloo Wellington Dufferin, the largest chapter in Canada, with 12 service locations and almost 350 employees.
The organization started construction in December of a three-storey, 22,700 sq/ft headquarters and treatment facility at 80 Waterloo Ave. in downtown Guelph.
The $10.2 million building, to be opened by June 2015, is on the former site of the Salvation Army Citadel, which has been demolished. Services will include individual and group treatment, education sessions, crisis support, adult and seniors services, eating disorder support and psychosis intervention.
Elizabeth Manley shines light on mental health
As published in The Erin Advocate
Olympic figure skater Elizabeth Manley was at Erin Public School on April 10, bringing her story of hope as an inspiration for families dealing with mental illness.
The “Finding Light Through Darkness” event was organized by the Erin Parent Connection, with volunteers from several local schools, and included a Mental Health Fair with information from supportive agencies and businesses.
Manley grew up in an Air Force family and spent many hours at rinks, determined to be better than her hockey-playing brothers.
Moving to Ottawa, she progressed quickly in her early teens, with her figure skating talents honed by professional coaching and a tough training schedule. She would be on the ice by 6 am, in school for the morning, and then back on the ice in the afternoon and evening.
“I loved skating so much I didn’t know what else I was missing,” she said. Socially and emotionally she had some difficult years, especially with the divorce of her parents. She was bullied in school, but developed a tough mindset, in which “you never let your competitors see you weak.”
Her coach had to quit as she was preparing for the Olympics. She learned later it was because of AIDS, but at the time she was blaming herself. She felt guilty for making mistakes on the ice, since her mother was making so many sacrifices to keep her in the sport.
“I felt like my world was falling apart,” she said.
As a 16-year-old national champion, she felt the pressure of representing an entire nation. After moving to Lake Placid for training she had a nervous breakdown, losing her hair, gaining weight due to fluid retention and being diagnosed with clinical depression.
Because of her sport, she wanted to avoid all drug therapy. Talk therapy was limited and expensive, so she resolved to heal on her own and forge on with skating.
“People avoided me like I had leprosy,” she said. “But I said, no one’s going to tell me I can’t do something I love.”
Things were especially dark after she lost her title at the Nationals competition, with thoughts of suicide and a feeling that she had disappointed so many people. She did get help from a psychologist who donated his time, enabling her to release and deal with her emotions, and within seven months, she was back to skating.
“Sometimes we forget the things we love – we get distracted by fear and guilt,” she said.
With the help of supportive coaches and club members, she made the 1988 Olympic Team. She had some rough treatment in the press, and was competing with a high fever, but she continued to push herself.
While in third place after the short program and at risk of dropping out, the entire Canadian men’s hockey team showed up to watch her practice and give her encouragement. Coach Dave King told her later that his guys “needed to be inspired by a real champion”.
Manley is proud of the silver medal she won in Calgary in 1988, but the opportunity to help other people has become more significant for her. She raises money with the help of other skaters through the Elizabeth Manley and Friends Ice Show.
She supports research into Alzheimer’s disease and cancer, in honour of her parents, and for organizations like Community Living that work against stigmas in society. She is part of a growing effort to bring mental health issues out into the open for discussion.
“You never get over it – I still suffer,” she said. “But you can learn how to live a very fulfilling life, so don’t be afraid. Take time to take the pressure off. Parents, make a point of having conversations, take the time to know what’s going on. I want kids to know that there is help out there.”
Olympic figure skater Elizabeth Manley was at Erin Public School on April 10, bringing her story of hope as an inspiration for families dealing with mental illness.
The “Finding Light Through Darkness” event was organized by the Erin Parent Connection, with volunteers from several local schools, and included a Mental Health Fair with information from supportive agencies and businesses.
Manley grew up in an Air Force family and spent many hours at rinks, determined to be better than her hockey-playing brothers.
Moving to Ottawa, she progressed quickly in her early teens, with her figure skating talents honed by professional coaching and a tough training schedule. She would be on the ice by 6 am, in school for the morning, and then back on the ice in the afternoon and evening.
“I loved skating so much I didn’t know what else I was missing,” she said. Socially and emotionally she had some difficult years, especially with the divorce of her parents. She was bullied in school, but developed a tough mindset, in which “you never let your competitors see you weak.”
Her coach had to quit as she was preparing for the Olympics. She learned later it was because of AIDS, but at the time she was blaming herself. She felt guilty for making mistakes on the ice, since her mother was making so many sacrifices to keep her in the sport.
“I felt like my world was falling apart,” she said.
As a 16-year-old national champion, she felt the pressure of representing an entire nation. After moving to Lake Placid for training she had a nervous breakdown, losing her hair, gaining weight due to fluid retention and being diagnosed with clinical depression.
Because of her sport, she wanted to avoid all drug therapy. Talk therapy was limited and expensive, so she resolved to heal on her own and forge on with skating.
“People avoided me like I had leprosy,” she said. “But I said, no one’s going to tell me I can’t do something I love.”
Things were especially dark after she lost her title at the Nationals competition, with thoughts of suicide and a feeling that she had disappointed so many people. She did get help from a psychologist who donated his time, enabling her to release and deal with her emotions, and within seven months, she was back to skating.
“Sometimes we forget the things we love – we get distracted by fear and guilt,” she said.
With the help of supportive coaches and club members, she made the 1988 Olympic Team. She had some rough treatment in the press, and was competing with a high fever, but she continued to push herself.
While in third place after the short program and at risk of dropping out, the entire Canadian men’s hockey team showed up to watch her practice and give her encouragement. Coach Dave King told her later that his guys “needed to be inspired by a real champion”.
Manley is proud of the silver medal she won in Calgary in 1988, but the opportunity to help other people has become more significant for her. She raises money with the help of other skaters through the Elizabeth Manley and Friends Ice Show.
She supports research into Alzheimer’s disease and cancer, in honour of her parents, and for organizations like Community Living that work against stigmas in society. She is part of a growing effort to bring mental health issues out into the open for discussion.
“You never get over it – I still suffer,” she said. “But you can learn how to live a very fulfilling life, so don’t be afraid. Take time to take the pressure off. Parents, make a point of having conversations, take the time to know what’s going on. I want kids to know that there is help out there.”
December 02, 2012
Just strong enough
Here are the words of my reflection, offered at the Blue Christmas Service, in the basement of All Saints' Anglican Church, Erin, on Sunday, December 2, 2012.
Jesus tells us that we must stand firm to the end.
The evangelist Mark, writing in apocalyptic style, quotes Jesus as saying, "The sun will be darkened, the moon will lose its brightness, the stars will come falling down from heaven, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken. ... When you see these things happening, know that he is near, at the very gates."
He was speaking of the end of our world. But as individuals, we can also have an event that shakes our personal world so severely, that it seems like an apocalypse. In times of distress, we need to stay alert, because it is an opportunity to feel the nearness of God. When our world is turned upside down, we need to listen, to find out what we should do next.
When the angel Gabriel visited Mary, she was "greatly distressed" – that could well be an understatement. Her life was thrown into turmoil. But when God's plan was revealed to her, she said, "I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled."
And Joseph was surely in distress, upon learning that Mary was pregnant. But when God's plan was revealed to him, he did what the angel of the Lord commanded him.
When our son Thomas died six months ago, we were unsure about God's plan, and we felt the need to pray. God reached out to comfort us. He sent his angels – friends, family, Father Joe and the musicians at the funeral, and total strangers here in Erin.
The rituals surrounding death did their job, helping us to be outward with our grief and to acknowledge our pain. Through my work with the newspaper, I was able to be open about the difficulties of dealing with mental illness and suicide, and brought some comfort to other people struggling with similar challenges.
We are fortunate to be optimistic, action-oriented people by nature, with no feeling that we are entitled to an easy life. Billions of people have grieved the loss of a child, so we're not all that special.
We all know we must suffer, but it always comes as a shock. We have to remember that God is not the source of evil and misfortune, but He does ensure that we need not face them alone.
We are not commanded to understand. We are commanded to love. We carry on for the glory of God, which makes it a joyful duty.
To carry on, we need healing. That requires comfort, a restoration of confidence, and a firm kick to put us back into action. That is a natural process, but for me it is helped along by hearing God's word.
I need constant reminders that I am the same person I was when I was born; the same one who was a little kid in school, the same one who fell in love, raised children, worked and played, and who is enjoying the privilege of growing old.
I need constant reminders that the evils of this world are temporary. That my body and my mind, and all these emotions, are temporary.
I need constant reminders that death has been defeated, that we are loved without condition, and that our souls will continue to praise God, even after time itself has come to an end.
Heavenly Father, teach us how to use our times of sorrow to become more humble. To focus on the really important things. To forgive, and to accept forgiveness. To grow closer to our families. To care for our neighbours. And to love you with our whole being.
Let us heal, and grow just strong enough to do your will. Amen.
Jesus tells us that we must stand firm to the end.
The evangelist Mark, writing in apocalyptic style, quotes Jesus as saying, "The sun will be darkened, the moon will lose its brightness, the stars will come falling down from heaven, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken. ... When you see these things happening, know that he is near, at the very gates."
He was speaking of the end of our world. But as individuals, we can also have an event that shakes our personal world so severely, that it seems like an apocalypse. In times of distress, we need to stay alert, because it is an opportunity to feel the nearness of God. When our world is turned upside down, we need to listen, to find out what we should do next.
When the angel Gabriel visited Mary, she was "greatly distressed" – that could well be an understatement. Her life was thrown into turmoil. But when God's plan was revealed to her, she said, "I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled."
And Joseph was surely in distress, upon learning that Mary was pregnant. But when God's plan was revealed to him, he did what the angel of the Lord commanded him.
When our son Thomas died six months ago, we were unsure about God's plan, and we felt the need to pray. God reached out to comfort us. He sent his angels – friends, family, Father Joe and the musicians at the funeral, and total strangers here in Erin.
The rituals surrounding death did their job, helping us to be outward with our grief and to acknowledge our pain. Through my work with the newspaper, I was able to be open about the difficulties of dealing with mental illness and suicide, and brought some comfort to other people struggling with similar challenges.
We are fortunate to be optimistic, action-oriented people by nature, with no feeling that we are entitled to an easy life. Billions of people have grieved the loss of a child, so we're not all that special.
We all know we must suffer, but it always comes as a shock. We have to remember that God is not the source of evil and misfortune, but He does ensure that we need not face them alone.
We are not commanded to understand. We are commanded to love. We carry on for the glory of God, which makes it a joyful duty.
To carry on, we need healing. That requires comfort, a restoration of confidence, and a firm kick to put us back into action. That is a natural process, but for me it is helped along by hearing God's word.
I need constant reminders that I am the same person I was when I was born; the same one who was a little kid in school, the same one who fell in love, raised children, worked and played, and who is enjoying the privilege of growing old.
I need constant reminders that the evils of this world are temporary. That my body and my mind, and all these emotions, are temporary.
I need constant reminders that death has been defeated, that we are loved without condition, and that our souls will continue to praise God, even after time itself has come to an end.
Heavenly Father, teach us how to use our times of sorrow to become more humble. To focus on the really important things. To forgive, and to accept forgiveness. To grow closer to our families. To care for our neighbours. And to love you with our whole being.
Let us heal, and grow just strong enough to do your will. Amen.
November 28, 2012
Blue Christmas fosters hope in time of sorrow
As published in The Erin Advocate
It's not about crying the blues, feeling sorry for yourself or taking a bah-humbug approach to the holiday season, but finding a way to deal with the reality that the festive frenzy of Christmas can be very stressful for people recovering from a loss in their lives.
The Blue Christmas Service will be held this Sunday, December 2, in the lower hall at All Saints Church on Main Street in Erin, starting at 7 pm.
It is a reflective Christian service, with music, readings and candle lighting, honouring our sorrows and finding cause for hope. It may be of interest to people who do not rely on organized religion for their spiritual needs. For more information, call Irene at 519-855-5985.
Losses, of course, encompass much more than the death of a family member or friend. There can be loss of a job, loss of a relationship, loss of worldly goods, loss of reputation or loss of self respect.
People and things in our environment give us a sense of who we are, so even when we know in our minds that change is natural and inevitable, it is still an emotional shock – a threat to our identity. I will be speaking briefly at the service, about how a time of crisis can sometimes help people deepen their faith and relationships with others.
Today, I'm finishing a series about a panel discussion on depression, held last month by the Family Health Team. Rev. Amy Cousineau, who will also be speaking at the Blue Christmas Service, was on that panel to tell of her own struggle with depression, and her husband Fred provided insight on supporting a partner in crisis.
That crisis started in 2006 with news of her mother's terminal illness, and the need to take time off from her job as Rector at All Saints' Anglican Church in Erin. Shuttling to Florida to care for her Mom was very stressful. When her Mom died after six months and Amy returned to work, she was constantly tired. The situation was compounded within a few months by the death of her best friend.
"I felt like I had been knocked down with a blow to the stomach, and I couldn't get up," she said. "If any little thing went wrong, I would get very angry, or start crying, but still I kept on working."
She had anxiety episodes where she would start to shake, and her weight was dropping. She cut back to part time, then went onto long-term disability, and later resigned her job.
"My expectations of myself were outrageous," she said. "I was not paying attention to my body – it was telling me something was wrong."
Support came from her family, her congregation and her faith in God, although that faith seemed more theoretical than practical at the worst times.
"I couldn't imagine any way to survive, but people were holding me up," she said. "It was horrible, such an awful dark place to be."
Fred said that his faith was certainly "stretched" as he experienced all these events and stages with Amy.
"The grief counselling that we went to really helped me – it helped Amy too, but she was in a completely different state, which we didn't realize at the time," he said. "Amy had always been this self-motivated work-a-holic, very confident, a super woman. She always pushed me. That all changed, to a person who was saying they couldn't do this anymore. There was also fear there. Every day was different. I listened a lot."
He offered frequent reassurance of his support, as Amy tried various strategies. He had to give up some things, but made sure to take some time for himself, to do things he wanted to do. Last year, they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
Additional help came from her family doctor, a personal counsellor, anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, exercise, yoga, massage, naturopathy, and traditional Chinese medicine herbs and acupuncture. She learned how to live with depression.
"I know what my limits are and I honour them. I had to make adjustments to my life and understand myself in a very different way."
Now, she works as a freelance priest and spiritual director, doing weddings and funerals for people who do not have a church connection, hosting retreats and workshops, and doing guest preaching.
In a sermon published on her website (www.revamyc.com) she sums up her recovery: "I slowly came out of the dark, into the light. I emerged from that dark cave I was in and began to live again. It was a kind of resurrection."
It's not about crying the blues, feeling sorry for yourself or taking a bah-humbug approach to the holiday season, but finding a way to deal with the reality that the festive frenzy of Christmas can be very stressful for people recovering from a loss in their lives.
The Blue Christmas Service will be held this Sunday, December 2, in the lower hall at All Saints Church on Main Street in Erin, starting at 7 pm.
It is a reflective Christian service, with music, readings and candle lighting, honouring our sorrows and finding cause for hope. It may be of interest to people who do not rely on organized religion for their spiritual needs. For more information, call Irene at 519-855-5985.
Losses, of course, encompass much more than the death of a family member or friend. There can be loss of a job, loss of a relationship, loss of worldly goods, loss of reputation or loss of self respect.
People and things in our environment give us a sense of who we are, so even when we know in our minds that change is natural and inevitable, it is still an emotional shock – a threat to our identity. I will be speaking briefly at the service, about how a time of crisis can sometimes help people deepen their faith and relationships with others.
Today, I'm finishing a series about a panel discussion on depression, held last month by the Family Health Team. Rev. Amy Cousineau, who will also be speaking at the Blue Christmas Service, was on that panel to tell of her own struggle with depression, and her husband Fred provided insight on supporting a partner in crisis.
That crisis started in 2006 with news of her mother's terminal illness, and the need to take time off from her job as Rector at All Saints' Anglican Church in Erin. Shuttling to Florida to care for her Mom was very stressful. When her Mom died after six months and Amy returned to work, she was constantly tired. The situation was compounded within a few months by the death of her best friend.
"I felt like I had been knocked down with a blow to the stomach, and I couldn't get up," she said. "If any little thing went wrong, I would get very angry, or start crying, but still I kept on working."
She had anxiety episodes where she would start to shake, and her weight was dropping. She cut back to part time, then went onto long-term disability, and later resigned her job.
"My expectations of myself were outrageous," she said. "I was not paying attention to my body – it was telling me something was wrong."
Support came from her family, her congregation and her faith in God, although that faith seemed more theoretical than practical at the worst times.
"I couldn't imagine any way to survive, but people were holding me up," she said. "It was horrible, such an awful dark place to be."
Fred said that his faith was certainly "stretched" as he experienced all these events and stages with Amy.
"The grief counselling that we went to really helped me – it helped Amy too, but she was in a completely different state, which we didn't realize at the time," he said. "Amy had always been this self-motivated work-a-holic, very confident, a super woman. She always pushed me. That all changed, to a person who was saying they couldn't do this anymore. There was also fear there. Every day was different. I listened a lot."
He offered frequent reassurance of his support, as Amy tried various strategies. He had to give up some things, but made sure to take some time for himself, to do things he wanted to do. Last year, they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.
Additional help came from her family doctor, a personal counsellor, anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication, exercise, yoga, massage, naturopathy, and traditional Chinese medicine herbs and acupuncture. She learned how to live with depression.
"I know what my limits are and I honour them. I had to make adjustments to my life and understand myself in a very different way."
Now, she works as a freelance priest and spiritual director, doing weddings and funerals for people who do not have a church connection, hosting retreats and workshops, and doing guest preaching.
In a sermon published on her website (www.revamyc.com) she sums up her recovery: "I slowly came out of the dark, into the light. I emerged from that dark cave I was in and began to live again. It was a kind of resurrection."
November 14, 2012
Combined treatments help depression sufferers
As published in The Erin Advocate
For the treatment of a complex illness such as depression, patients should not expect a simple pharmaceutical cure. Success will usually involve a combination of therapies, with a lot of effort put into the choices, to see what works best for the individual.
This is the second column based on a panel discussion held last month by the East Wellington Family Health Team (EWFHT).
There are not simply enough psychiatrists to treat every person with depression or other mental illness, so family doctors and therapists often start a patient on the road to recovery.
Michele Ross Miller is a Mental Health Therapist who provides one-on-one, marital and family counselling to patients of the EWFHT, as well as public education programs.
"By the time you come to counselling, you have experienced a lot of judgement about your depression," she said. "There are traditional beliefs about depression – it’s laziness, you just have to pull up your socks, you have to try harder. Counselling is about different kinds of therapies that challenge not only how you’re thinking, but also how you’re behaving."
People should seek help when they are no longer able to function at what they consider a normal level. They may still be going to work or school, but unable to concentrate and make decisions.
"The purpose of counselling is to set personal goals for improving your life, gaining greater insight into who you are," she said. "It’s not a process where the counsellor tells the client what he or she should do. You come to the session and the counsellor helps you come to decisions. Also, to get some education about what contributes to depression."
One of the popular strategies is called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, based on the concept that thoughts create feelings. Just as a brain can become accustomed to negative thoughts and feelings, it can be trained in the opposite direction through positive thinking. This short-term program works well for some people, but should not be considered a substitute when acute psychiatric care is needed.
Another panelist was Dr. Wendy Davis, a naturopathic doctor at the Harmony Naturopathic Clinic in Orangeville. She tries to discover root causes of patients' health concerns, treating them with various dietary, lifestyle and naturopathic remedies.
"We’re based on treating the whole person, which isn’t that different from conventional medicine – it is very much preventative," she said. "I believe in a combination of conventional and naturopathic medicine."
She looks at digestion, stress, sleep, energy, immune function, hormone balance, and environmental toxins. She stresses the value of B vitamins, Omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin C and vitamin D, with the priority on diet rather than supplements.
"They actually help to decrease that anxiety, that stress effect that gets you to that depressive state," she said. "We need to support the body so it has what it needs to get back up and to work with the stress."
Blood sugar control is important, since the ups and downs caused by skipping meals and eating high-carb snacks are very stressful on the body. She said black licorice can help with stress (if you don’t have high blood pressure), and she prescribes combinations of supplements, such as the common anti-depressant St. John’s Wort, with passion flower and skullcap.
"Just because you get a vitamin or supplement from a health food store, or Walmart or Shoppers, and it’s ‘natural’, it doesn’t necessarily always mean it’s safe. You should see a medical doctor or a naturopathic, someone who has an idea of how different things interact. Health Canada is really cracking down on different supplements – they’re making sure that what it says on the bottle is actually going to be in the product."
She also uses techniques of meditation, and elements of Traditional Chinese Medicine. "Acupuncture increases endorphins, just like exercise increases those feel-good hormones. It’s really good for relaxation and pain relief. It overall helps to balance the nervous system. The whole concept is the body in balance, it’s ying and yang. Too much of anything – too much broccoli – is not good for you. So it’s moderation in everything."
There will be one more column in this series on depression, including comments from the other panelists: Amy Cousineau, an Anglican priest (formerly at All Saints in Erin), who told her personal story of recovery; and Fred Cousineau, her husband of 40 years, who shared the frustrations and satisfactions of being a support person for someone in crisis.
For the treatment of a complex illness such as depression, patients should not expect a simple pharmaceutical cure. Success will usually involve a combination of therapies, with a lot of effort put into the choices, to see what works best for the individual.
This is the second column based on a panel discussion held last month by the East Wellington Family Health Team (EWFHT).
There are not simply enough psychiatrists to treat every person with depression or other mental illness, so family doctors and therapists often start a patient on the road to recovery.
Michele Ross Miller is a Mental Health Therapist who provides one-on-one, marital and family counselling to patients of the EWFHT, as well as public education programs.
"By the time you come to counselling, you have experienced a lot of judgement about your depression," she said. "There are traditional beliefs about depression – it’s laziness, you just have to pull up your socks, you have to try harder. Counselling is about different kinds of therapies that challenge not only how you’re thinking, but also how you’re behaving."
People should seek help when they are no longer able to function at what they consider a normal level. They may still be going to work or school, but unable to concentrate and make decisions.
"The purpose of counselling is to set personal goals for improving your life, gaining greater insight into who you are," she said. "It’s not a process where the counsellor tells the client what he or she should do. You come to the session and the counsellor helps you come to decisions. Also, to get some education about what contributes to depression."
One of the popular strategies is called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, based on the concept that thoughts create feelings. Just as a brain can become accustomed to negative thoughts and feelings, it can be trained in the opposite direction through positive thinking. This short-term program works well for some people, but should not be considered a substitute when acute psychiatric care is needed.
Another panelist was Dr. Wendy Davis, a naturopathic doctor at the Harmony Naturopathic Clinic in Orangeville. She tries to discover root causes of patients' health concerns, treating them with various dietary, lifestyle and naturopathic remedies.
"We’re based on treating the whole person, which isn’t that different from conventional medicine – it is very much preventative," she said. "I believe in a combination of conventional and naturopathic medicine."
She looks at digestion, stress, sleep, energy, immune function, hormone balance, and environmental toxins. She stresses the value of B vitamins, Omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin C and vitamin D, with the priority on diet rather than supplements.
"They actually help to decrease that anxiety, that stress effect that gets you to that depressive state," she said. "We need to support the body so it has what it needs to get back up and to work with the stress."
Blood sugar control is important, since the ups and downs caused by skipping meals and eating high-carb snacks are very stressful on the body. She said black licorice can help with stress (if you don’t have high blood pressure), and she prescribes combinations of supplements, such as the common anti-depressant St. John’s Wort, with passion flower and skullcap.
"Just because you get a vitamin or supplement from a health food store, or Walmart or Shoppers, and it’s ‘natural’, it doesn’t necessarily always mean it’s safe. You should see a medical doctor or a naturopathic, someone who has an idea of how different things interact. Health Canada is really cracking down on different supplements – they’re making sure that what it says on the bottle is actually going to be in the product."
She also uses techniques of meditation, and elements of Traditional Chinese Medicine. "Acupuncture increases endorphins, just like exercise increases those feel-good hormones. It’s really good for relaxation and pain relief. It overall helps to balance the nervous system. The whole concept is the body in balance, it’s ying and yang. Too much of anything – too much broccoli – is not good for you. So it’s moderation in everything."
There will be one more column in this series on depression, including comments from the other panelists: Amy Cousineau, an Anglican priest (formerly at All Saints in Erin), who told her personal story of recovery; and Fred Cousineau, her husband of 40 years, who shared the frustrations and satisfactions of being a support person for someone in crisis.
October 24, 2012
Good recovery prospects for those with depression
As published in The Erin Advocate
Speakers at a panel discussion hosted by the East Wellington Family Health Team (EWFHT) this month painted a hopeful picture of recovery for the many people who suffer from depression.
With presentations that included scientific, therapeutic and personal points of view, the overarching message was that this condition can be defeated or made manageable.
"Depression has many faces, changing the way it appears from one person to the next," said Kim Bell, Program Lead/Mental Health Worker at EWFHT. "Compounding this problem is the fact that most people are unaware that depression is an illness. It's a treatable illness. People do recover every day. So there is hope."
Depression affects 10 per cent of Canadians. Early intervention can reduce its severity, but sufferers and health professionals are working against the embarrassment, fear and stigma attached to all mental illnesses. Caring support from family and others can be crucial to recovery.
Dr. Pete Anderson, a family physician who recently joined EWFHT, and has a PhD in molecular biology and genetics, described the physical changes that take place in the bodies and brains of people with depression. Some 15 per cent of people will suffer from depression at some point in their life, with a higher incidence for women, especially in the time following the birth of a child.
"There are measurable changes in how your neurons work in the different parts of your brain, and things that short-circuit it can cause depression," he said, recounting his own struggles with the illness.
"The pressures I put on myself while going through medical school put me into a spiral. Had my wife been a hair less strong than she was, we might not be together today. So I am very, very lucky to have had the support of my family and friends to get through that.
"Insidious is a fantastic word to describe it. I was just miserable. Everything I did was just coloured by this morose, blue, outlook on things. All the pleasure of small things seemed to get drained out of the activities in my life."
Losing the ability to function distinguishes major depression. Anderson suffered many of the classic symptoms, at first not knowing the cause. A diagnosis requires a combination of symptoms persisting over a period of time.
These include overwhelming sadness, loss of interest in activities, low self-esteem, weight loss or gain, insomnia or excessive sleep, lack of energy, slow movement, changes in appetite, feelings of guilt, impaired concentration and decision-making, and thoughts of suicide as a way to escape.
"Maybe it would just be easier if I wasn't here – I remember saying that to my wife," he said. "That was a big turning point, when I actually admitted I was having these thoughts."
Research is showing that stress triggers hormones that can wither the neurons in the brain and reduce connectivity, which can lead to a self-reinforcing pattern of negative thoughts and emotions. The human brain evolved to handle the short-term stress of emergencies, not the constant stress that society now generates.
"We think depression is a maladaptive response of the body to chronic stress that you can't get resolution to," he said. "There's usually a difference between expectation and reality that you can't reconcile. The part of the brain that decides what to do is locked out.
"The good news is that there are effective therapies for depression. You have to start doing things that used to make you happy. You have to socialize – there's something protective about social interaction, having people tell us that they care about us. That helps make new connections in the brain.
"Exercise releases hormones within the body that actually help neurons grow. Our bodies are designed to move, and our brains are designed to catalogue that movement," he said, but cautioned against expecting quick results. "You are not going to snap out of it. It takes time for brain re-growth."
Counselling can help people challenge their negative thoughts, while medications can sensitize the brain to helpful hormones. Finding the best medication and dosage is often a trial and error process, with the risk of serious side effects, but it is extremely valuable for many patients.
So the strategy is to combine different therapies to fight the illness. I will touch on some variations when I outline the presentations of the other panelists in a future column.
Speakers at a panel discussion hosted by the East Wellington Family Health Team (EWFHT) this month painted a hopeful picture of recovery for the many people who suffer from depression.
With presentations that included scientific, therapeutic and personal points of view, the overarching message was that this condition can be defeated or made manageable.
"Depression has many faces, changing the way it appears from one person to the next," said Kim Bell, Program Lead/Mental Health Worker at EWFHT. "Compounding this problem is the fact that most people are unaware that depression is an illness. It's a treatable illness. People do recover every day. So there is hope."
Depression affects 10 per cent of Canadians. Early intervention can reduce its severity, but sufferers and health professionals are working against the embarrassment, fear and stigma attached to all mental illnesses. Caring support from family and others can be crucial to recovery.
Dr. Pete Anderson, a family physician who recently joined EWFHT, and has a PhD in molecular biology and genetics, described the physical changes that take place in the bodies and brains of people with depression. Some 15 per cent of people will suffer from depression at some point in their life, with a higher incidence for women, especially in the time following the birth of a child.
"There are measurable changes in how your neurons work in the different parts of your brain, and things that short-circuit it can cause depression," he said, recounting his own struggles with the illness.
"The pressures I put on myself while going through medical school put me into a spiral. Had my wife been a hair less strong than she was, we might not be together today. So I am very, very lucky to have had the support of my family and friends to get through that.
"Insidious is a fantastic word to describe it. I was just miserable. Everything I did was just coloured by this morose, blue, outlook on things. All the pleasure of small things seemed to get drained out of the activities in my life."
Losing the ability to function distinguishes major depression. Anderson suffered many of the classic symptoms, at first not knowing the cause. A diagnosis requires a combination of symptoms persisting over a period of time.
These include overwhelming sadness, loss of interest in activities, low self-esteem, weight loss or gain, insomnia or excessive sleep, lack of energy, slow movement, changes in appetite, feelings of guilt, impaired concentration and decision-making, and thoughts of suicide as a way to escape.
"Maybe it would just be easier if I wasn't here – I remember saying that to my wife," he said. "That was a big turning point, when I actually admitted I was having these thoughts."
Research is showing that stress triggers hormones that can wither the neurons in the brain and reduce connectivity, which can lead to a self-reinforcing pattern of negative thoughts and emotions. The human brain evolved to handle the short-term stress of emergencies, not the constant stress that society now generates.
"We think depression is a maladaptive response of the body to chronic stress that you can't get resolution to," he said. "There's usually a difference between expectation and reality that you can't reconcile. The part of the brain that decides what to do is locked out.
"The good news is that there are effective therapies for depression. You have to start doing things that used to make you happy. You have to socialize – there's something protective about social interaction, having people tell us that they care about us. That helps make new connections in the brain.
"Exercise releases hormones within the body that actually help neurons grow. Our bodies are designed to move, and our brains are designed to catalogue that movement," he said, but cautioned against expecting quick results. "You are not going to snap out of it. It takes time for brain re-growth."
Counselling can help people challenge their negative thoughts, while medications can sensitize the brain to helpful hormones. Finding the best medication and dosage is often a trial and error process, with the risk of serious side effects, but it is extremely valuable for many patients.
So the strategy is to combine different therapies to fight the illness. I will touch on some variations when I outline the presentations of the other panelists in a future column.
September 27, 2012
Let us be persistent in hope
As published in The Erin Advocate
I am not comfortable in the role of victim. I would rather be known for the things I do, rather than the things that have happened to me.
After the death of my son Thomas last May, I was determined to generate more public discussion about mental illness, which led me to speak at McMillan Park, on World Suicide Prevention Day (September 10). Here is the text of those personal reflections:
Thank you to my wife Jean for her strength and patience, and to my son Michael for his courage. I think this ordeal has brought us closer together.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to support us. Not just those close to us, but remote acquaintances, total strangers, and those whose job it is to comfort the afflicted. It is not just a job though, when you have to confront life and death issues, it is a special calling. All that reaching out makes us a strong, caring community.
If we are going to fight the battle, to prevent suicides, then we need to know our enemies. And death is not our enemy. We know that death is certain – we can only delay it. And we know that our species is weak, vulnerable to illnesses.
We can't change the reality that suffering is part of the human condition. But we can improve the quality of life for those with mental illnesses, whether it is a brief crisis or a struggle over many decades. And we can also change the way we think and behave about these issues.
With so much suffering, and over 4,000 Canadian lives lost to suicide each year, it is unacceptable to sweep mental illness under the carpet, as a shameful secret. It is all around us, and we have to face it with courage.
Fear and guilt – these are our enemies. We cannot put them to death, since they are woven right through us, but we can put them in their place, and not allow them to rule our lives. There is healthy fear, the type that protects us from danger. But then there is unreasonable fear, blown out of all proportion to the actual threat.
When our children succeed in the ways of this world, we are tempted to take credit. "We must have been doing something right!" But when they are crushed by the ways of this world, and their own fears, we ask, "Where did we go wrong?"
If we actually did something wrong, we might feel a natural guilt. But why are we tempted to feel guilty about things that are out of our control or that happen in spite of our best efforts. That guilt is not healthy.
We all walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Death is difficult, but the shadow that surrounds it is much worse. So we have to be brave. And we are all fortunate, because love does not come to an end – it is constantly renewed.
When Thomas was eight years old, he was diagnosed with a birth defect, a flaw in his aorta. He needed surgery, and had to understand the risk that he might not survive. He was afraid, but he was brave. The surgery went fine, but what if he had died then? Emotionally, it would have been more efficient for us. It was out of our control – not our fault.
When Thomas was 14, he came to us and said he had urges to kill himself. He was afraid, but he was brave. We scrambled to help him, and never gave up hope, but I wonder what it would have been like for us if he had died then. If he had been afraid to speak to us, and just done it. It would have been simpler, but it would not have been better.
For those with a loved one at risk, try to make a deal with them, to come and talk when things get bad, no matter what. Tell them you can handle it, even if you are not sure. We made that deal with Thomas, and he helped us understand his world. We helped him take responsibility for his own happiness and opened up options for him, and he helped us to be brave.
It was a privilege to accompany him in his struggles. Despite the frustrations and uncertainty, those ten years had many positive times, and he enriched our lives.
Eventually, Thomas could not keep up his end of the bargain. He was being crushed with pain, and he kept the worst of it away from us. He had decided to end his life, but he procrastinated for a long time, hoping for – hope. I don't think his final act was one of cowardice or selfishness. In his mind, it was an act of bravery.
The most difficult thing to accept is that suicide is a choice, a way to escape the pain of existing in this world, the result of a tortured reasoning process. If Thomas felt he had no chance of fitting in to this world, did he make the right choice? We don't think he did, because he had many options, but it was ultimately his choice to make.
Normally, humans are programmed to love life and fear death. But we are also programmed to avoid pain, and pain can change everything. When the socially acceptable treatments are not working well, self-treatment becomes a reality. Unfortunately, many self-treatments are destructive, and provide only short-term relief.
Patients need to take primary responsibility for their mental health, but they need a partnership with family members, friends, doctors, counsellors and the community. The goal is reduce sources of pain, and increase the capacity to cope with it.
This does not work well in an atmosphere of fear and secrecy. Being open and honest about mental illness will not cure it, but it will increase the opportunities for improvement. It is a tragedy that many families suffer in isolation, because of an illness they are not allowed to talk about.
Take all the help you can get from psychiatry, but do not put all your hopes there. Scientific understanding of brain disorders is very limited. The system is poorly funded, waiting times are long, and there is a heavy reliance on drugs. Educate yourself about different illnesses and strategies, and about the side effects and risks of medications.
There are no magic pills, and no special words from a trained professional that will make this go away. The best we can expect is some support for a natural healing process.
Don't let a loved one's illness drag you into despair. Get counselling for yourself and do whatever it takes to build up your strength for the journey.
Collectively, we can also be brave. It is estimated at least one in five Canadians each year will be affected by a mental illness, costing the economy $51 billion dollars annually. So it is encouraging that Canada this year has proclaimed a Mental Health Strategy, to improve access to support services.
We need to demand that this plan gets the funding it deserves. The same goes for the new Federal Framework for Suicide Prevention, now before the Senate. It will formally recognize suicide as a public health issue.
All the positive talk at the top end of the system needs to trickle down to the local level. We need support groups and access to treatment, close to where we live. Very close.
Most importantly, as individuals, let us be brave. Let us discuss the risk of suicide, as openly as we discuss the risk of death by cancer or heart disease. Let us be willing to ask for help when we need it, and accept it when it is offered. Let us reach out to those in need, and be persistent in hope.
September 05, 2012
Worldwide events promote suicide prevention
As published in The Erin Advocate
Having a special "day" may not seem like much, in the struggle to keep people from taking their own lives. But when it is an issue that we are afraid to talk about, public discussion is a valuable key that can open up channels of hope and support.
World Suicide Prevention Day will be marked with a brief event in Erin on Monday, September 10, at McMillan Park on Main Street, at 12:30 p.m. It is partly to mourn the many lives lost to suicide, but more importantly to encourage those who are still at risk, and to reduce the stigma that makes it difficult to talk about mental illness and seek help.
I have been asked to share some personal reflections at this event, since Jean and I had ten years of experience in suicide prevention, before losing our son Thomas last May.
"Until it touches somebody's life, they don't realize how common it is," said Kim Bell, Program Lead/Mental Health Worker at the East Wellington Family Health Team, who is helping organize the event.
It is also sponsored by the Suicide Awareness Council (formerly the Suicide Resource Group) of Wellington-Dufferin, which has been in existence since 1999. Its goal is to reduce the incidence of suicide and its impact, through access to credible information, education and resources.
There is valuable information at www.suicideawarenesscouncil.wordpress.com and at www.suicideprevention.ca. It is also worthwhile to learn about the Collateral Damage Project, at www.leftbehindbysuicide.org, which promotes training in how to deal with the risk of suicide.
Preventing suicide requires a core partnership that includes the person in distress, the immediate family and health professionals – family doctor, psychiatrist and counsellor.
"It's about asking tough questions, hearing tough answers and taking action," said Bell. She said suicide is rarely an impulsive act, as people normally seek out many other options to alleviate their pain.
"You have to be honest with each other. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely. It gives the person permission to talk about it."
The suicides of almost 4,000 people per year in Canada create a painful reminder that this is a major public health issue, one that affects all walks of life.
“It speaks loudly about the need for the Government of Canada to pay heed to the call from thousands of Canadians, the United Nations and the World Health Organization to establish a national suicide prevention strategy,” said Tim Wall, Executive Director for the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention.
Bill C-300, to create Federal Framework for Suicide Prevention is now before the Senate. It would recognize suicide as a public health issue, provide guidelines, and promote collaboration, knowledge exchange and best practices.
When it was passed in the House of Commons in June, the Bill’s sponsor, Kitchener-Conestoga MP Harold Albrecht thanked all MPs for the quality of discussion through all the debates, which remained free of partisanship.
He challenged MPs to keep the conversations on suicide and its prevention alive in their own communities, as Canada remains a long way from breaking the stigma surrounding this issue.
Having a special "day" may not seem like much, in the struggle to keep people from taking their own lives. But when it is an issue that we are afraid to talk about, public discussion is a valuable key that can open up channels of hope and support.
World Suicide Prevention Day will be marked with a brief event in Erin on Monday, September 10, at McMillan Park on Main Street, at 12:30 p.m. It is partly to mourn the many lives lost to suicide, but more importantly to encourage those who are still at risk, and to reduce the stigma that makes it difficult to talk about mental illness and seek help.
I have been asked to share some personal reflections at this event, since Jean and I had ten years of experience in suicide prevention, before losing our son Thomas last May.
"Until it touches somebody's life, they don't realize how common it is," said Kim Bell, Program Lead/Mental Health Worker at the East Wellington Family Health Team, who is helping organize the event.
It is also sponsored by the Suicide Awareness Council (formerly the Suicide Resource Group) of Wellington-Dufferin, which has been in existence since 1999. Its goal is to reduce the incidence of suicide and its impact, through access to credible information, education and resources.
There is valuable information at www.suicideawarenesscouncil.wordpress.com and at www.suicideprevention.ca. It is also worthwhile to learn about the Collateral Damage Project, at www.leftbehindbysuicide.org, which promotes training in how to deal with the risk of suicide.
Preventing suicide requires a core partnership that includes the person in distress, the immediate family and health professionals – family doctor, psychiatrist and counsellor.
"It's about asking tough questions, hearing tough answers and taking action," said Bell. She said suicide is rarely an impulsive act, as people normally seek out many other options to alleviate their pain.
"You have to be honest with each other. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely. It gives the person permission to talk about it."
The suicides of almost 4,000 people per year in Canada create a painful reminder that this is a major public health issue, one that affects all walks of life.
“It speaks loudly about the need for the Government of Canada to pay heed to the call from thousands of Canadians, the United Nations and the World Health Organization to establish a national suicide prevention strategy,” said Tim Wall, Executive Director for the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention.
Bill C-300, to create Federal Framework for Suicide Prevention is now before the Senate. It would recognize suicide as a public health issue, provide guidelines, and promote collaboration, knowledge exchange and best practices.
When it was passed in the House of Commons in June, the Bill’s sponsor, Kitchener-Conestoga MP Harold Albrecht thanked all MPs for the quality of discussion through all the debates, which remained free of partisanship.
He challenged MPs to keep the conversations on suicide and its prevention alive in their own communities, as Canada remains a long way from breaking the stigma surrounding this issue.
June 27, 2012
200 pieces so far in my Erin portrait
As published in The Erin Advocate
It is like an English course that just goes on and on. Coming up with a 700 word essay for the newspaper every week has been a challenging project – painting a mosaic-style portrait of Erin, one small piece at a time.
This is Column 200. When I started in June 2008, I said I would strive to entertain, report accurately and treat people with respect.
I haven't had any complaints so far, which probably means I am not taking enough risks. The entertainment value would definitely be higher if I was from the attack dog school of journalism, stirring up trouble for its own sake.
I get to pick my own topics, which means there are some aspects of Erin I have not written about, yet. Some issues are so convoluted that there aren't enough hours in the week to tackle them properly.
People tell me they like what I do, and I think the reason it works is that the columns are not primarily about my opinions. I am a boring, middle-aged guy with opinions that would put most people to sleep.
I would rather interview people who are doing interesting things (and there are lots of them in Erin), or dig up and explain things that will help people learn about their own community.
The recent column about the suicide of my son was one of the rare personal ones. It generated not only an outpouring of encouragement for my family, but an unexpected flow of personal stories.
When confronted with the spectre of death, that common fear that binds us together, we often respond with symbols of life and nourishment: flowers and food. More importantly, there is an effort to reassure survivors that they are not alone in their struggles.
Many people, including total strangers, told us about the suicides of children, parents, close friends and relatives, of assisted suicides and of their own attempts. They told us about fears for the safety of their own children, and details about cases of clinical depression, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Then there are the issues that follow, such as long delays in getting proper treatment, the guesswork in prescribing mixtures of psychiatric drugs and the aggressive marketing of these drugs. The costs of mental illness include not only health care costs and lost productivity, but drug and alcohol addictions, violence, abuse and shattered dreams.
People have reached out to us, since the opportunity to discuss these issues openly does not come along every day. So now we know a little bit about their stories, but they do not know each others' stories, and we are not able to share them.
Suffice to say that mental illness is all around us, and we need to be aware. It is a reminder not to pass judgement on people who are different from us, or who appear weak. We often do not know what they have had to endure, or how they have adapted in order to keep on going.
So we all walk in the valley of the shadow of death. It is that shadow – that fear – which is more oppressive than death itself.
I know some people who have given up on God in a time of tragedy. How could a loving God allow such bad things to happen? I do not know the answer to that, but our anger could be caused by unrealistic expectations.
We were never promised immunity from terrible things, but only that we need not face them alone. Perhaps that is why the lyrics of Psalm 23, written by David (the shepherd and king) have great appeal for those who mourn:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."
It is like an English course that just goes on and on. Coming up with a 700 word essay for the newspaper every week has been a challenging project – painting a mosaic-style portrait of Erin, one small piece at a time.
This is Column 200. When I started in June 2008, I said I would strive to entertain, report accurately and treat people with respect.
I haven't had any complaints so far, which probably means I am not taking enough risks. The entertainment value would definitely be higher if I was from the attack dog school of journalism, stirring up trouble for its own sake.
I get to pick my own topics, which means there are some aspects of Erin I have not written about, yet. Some issues are so convoluted that there aren't enough hours in the week to tackle them properly.
People tell me they like what I do, and I think the reason it works is that the columns are not primarily about my opinions. I am a boring, middle-aged guy with opinions that would put most people to sleep.
I would rather interview people who are doing interesting things (and there are lots of them in Erin), or dig up and explain things that will help people learn about their own community.
The recent column about the suicide of my son was one of the rare personal ones. It generated not only an outpouring of encouragement for my family, but an unexpected flow of personal stories.
When confronted with the spectre of death, that common fear that binds us together, we often respond with symbols of life and nourishment: flowers and food. More importantly, there is an effort to reassure survivors that they are not alone in their struggles.
Many people, including total strangers, told us about the suicides of children, parents, close friends and relatives, of assisted suicides and of their own attempts. They told us about fears for the safety of their own children, and details about cases of clinical depression, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Then there are the issues that follow, such as long delays in getting proper treatment, the guesswork in prescribing mixtures of psychiatric drugs and the aggressive marketing of these drugs. The costs of mental illness include not only health care costs and lost productivity, but drug and alcohol addictions, violence, abuse and shattered dreams.
People have reached out to us, since the opportunity to discuss these issues openly does not come along every day. So now we know a little bit about their stories, but they do not know each others' stories, and we are not able to share them.
Suffice to say that mental illness is all around us, and we need to be aware. It is a reminder not to pass judgement on people who are different from us, or who appear weak. We often do not know what they have had to endure, or how they have adapted in order to keep on going.
So we all walk in the valley of the shadow of death. It is that shadow – that fear – which is more oppressive than death itself.
I know some people who have given up on God in a time of tragedy. How could a loving God allow such bad things to happen? I do not know the answer to that, but our anger could be caused by unrealistic expectations.
We were never promised immunity from terrible things, but only that we need not face them alone. Perhaps that is why the lyrics of Psalm 23, written by David (the shepherd and king) have great appeal for those who mourn:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."
June 05, 2012
Suicide highlights need for community support
This is not how it was supposed to be. The death of my son Thomas last week, at the age of 24, has put us in a state of shock. It has also triggered an outpouring of support for my wife Jean, my son Michael and myself, for which we are very grateful.
Starting in Grade 9, Thomas suffered from depression and a personality disorder that made social interactions very stressful for him. He sought refuge in alcohol and drugs, but also in the study of philosophy, and in acts of consideration for his family and friends. The greatest of these were his many courageous attempts to carry on.
No parent should ever have to come home to find that a child has taken their own life, but this is what Jean experienced. It is a horror that I would have gladly accepted for myself, so that she could have been spared it.
Sometimes, I feel angry at Thomas for causing us pain. Both Jean and I have felt some peace in knowing that his ordeal is over. He was a good actor, and could portray an appearance of normalcy, at great cost to himself. Still, he did share his fears, seek our aid and help us understand partially what was happening inside.
For the times when he could not be completely honest, to protect himself and us, and for his final act, he is forgiven.
We are dismayed at the inadequacy of our mental health care system, both in staffing and scientific knowledge. Part of that failure was due to Thomas' inability to accept all the assistance being offered. Ten years of psychiatry, medication, counselling, rehabilitation programs and behaviour therapy did not enable him to live with his core problems. We do not blame anyone for his death.
People tell us we did all we could, but that is not strictly true. We could have done things differently, but knowing exactly what to do is very difficult, since the object is to help a struggling person take responsibility for themselves. Sometimes, the best you can do is travel a tough road together, and not give up. It is a difficult lesson in love.
The fabric of our family and community has been damaged. One regret is that Thomas' instinct, and ours, was to avoid telling people about his troubles. As a result, his suicide was an even greater shock to our broader family. If he had been attacked by an outside force, such as cancer, we would have felt comfortable in calling for immediate support, and not felt so isolated.
We should not fall into the trap of blaming ourselves – of thinking that Thomas could have been saved, if only we had said the right words, at the right time, or found him a different prescription. There are no magic pills, no words that could have made everything all right.
There is consolation in knowing that Thomas has already been saved. We have confidence in the mercy of our loving God – mercy that is freely available to everyone, even if they cannot draw strength from formal religion.
I am fortunate in being able to put my thoughts into words, as therapy for myself and to connect with others. Like most human devices, words are inadequate for the things we hope they might achieve, but some particularly helpful ones were said by our pastor, Fr. Joe Kelly, at the funeral on Friday. These can be read as a separate entry on this blog.
Thomas was a victim of mental illness, which made it difficult for him to find hope in an outrageously imperfect world. But his death was also a choice, considered by him for many years, for which he was willing to take responsibility.
It is a paradox to contemplate, that what could be seen as an act of cowardice, was also an act of strength. We may not understand or agree with his reasoning, but we must ultimately respect his choice.
In the past week, at least 15 people have reached out to tell me of similar struggles in their families. In Thomas' memory, let us work to remove the stigma attached to mental illness.
Let us be willing to ask for help when we need it, and accept it when it is offered. Let us reach out fearlessly to those in need, and be persistent in hope.
As we stood looking at the body which he has left behind, I heard someone say, "Such a waste." I understand that feeling, but it is not length of days that makes existence worthwhile.
Thomas was a valued child of God from the start of his life. He had many happy times and did many good deeds, and as we begin to heal, it is these that we will treasure.
Starting in Grade 9, Thomas suffered from depression and a personality disorder that made social interactions very stressful for him. He sought refuge in alcohol and drugs, but also in the study of philosophy, and in acts of consideration for his family and friends. The greatest of these were his many courageous attempts to carry on.
No parent should ever have to come home to find that a child has taken their own life, but this is what Jean experienced. It is a horror that I would have gladly accepted for myself, so that she could have been spared it.
Sometimes, I feel angry at Thomas for causing us pain. Both Jean and I have felt some peace in knowing that his ordeal is over. He was a good actor, and could portray an appearance of normalcy, at great cost to himself. Still, he did share his fears, seek our aid and help us understand partially what was happening inside.
For the times when he could not be completely honest, to protect himself and us, and for his final act, he is forgiven.
We are dismayed at the inadequacy of our mental health care system, both in staffing and scientific knowledge. Part of that failure was due to Thomas' inability to accept all the assistance being offered. Ten years of psychiatry, medication, counselling, rehabilitation programs and behaviour therapy did not enable him to live with his core problems. We do not blame anyone for his death.
People tell us we did all we could, but that is not strictly true. We could have done things differently, but knowing exactly what to do is very difficult, since the object is to help a struggling person take responsibility for themselves. Sometimes, the best you can do is travel a tough road together, and not give up. It is a difficult lesson in love.
The fabric of our family and community has been damaged. One regret is that Thomas' instinct, and ours, was to avoid telling people about his troubles. As a result, his suicide was an even greater shock to our broader family. If he had been attacked by an outside force, such as cancer, we would have felt comfortable in calling for immediate support, and not felt so isolated.
We should not fall into the trap of blaming ourselves – of thinking that Thomas could have been saved, if only we had said the right words, at the right time, or found him a different prescription. There are no magic pills, no words that could have made everything all right.
There is consolation in knowing that Thomas has already been saved. We have confidence in the mercy of our loving God – mercy that is freely available to everyone, even if they cannot draw strength from formal religion.
I am fortunate in being able to put my thoughts into words, as therapy for myself and to connect with others. Like most human devices, words are inadequate for the things we hope they might achieve, but some particularly helpful ones were said by our pastor, Fr. Joe Kelly, at the funeral on Friday. These can be read as a separate entry on this blog.
Thomas was a victim of mental illness, which made it difficult for him to find hope in an outrageously imperfect world. But his death was also a choice, considered by him for many years, for which he was willing to take responsibility.
It is a paradox to contemplate, that what could be seen as an act of cowardice, was also an act of strength. We may not understand or agree with his reasoning, but we must ultimately respect his choice.
In the past week, at least 15 people have reached out to tell me of similar struggles in their families. In Thomas' memory, let us work to remove the stigma attached to mental illness.
Let us be willing to ask for help when we need it, and accept it when it is offered. Let us reach out fearlessly to those in need, and be persistent in hope.
As we stood looking at the body which he has left behind, I heard someone say, "Such a waste." I understand that feeling, but it is not length of days that makes existence worthwhile.
Thomas was a valued child of God from the start of his life. He had many happy times and did many good deeds, and as we begin to heal, it is these that we will treasure.
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